Ok, I for reals need to get better about these blogposts. One-month intervals is simply not ok for me to be writing. If nothing else, I could probably use the catharsis.
You'd think this would be about Valentine's... Nope. I'll save that for another post. Which will NOT be in March. I'm mostly telling myself this...
And, well, let's be honest. This isn't bride freakout number 1. It's really just bride freakout number 1 that I'm telling the world about. It's just kind of funny, and tells the world that I'm a little spacey sometimes.
I go to do the dishes, then finish some other tasks that really needed to get done (removing the table sticky from my grapefruit breakfast... yep). I finish. I stop. I say out loud, when I really wish this was in my head "omgosh, I have no idea where I set my ring down! I went to do the dishes, took it off to do the dishes, and eep, where is it?!?" I then look on my hand and there it is. A little less spazzing might have been pleasant for everyone involved.
My biggest fear?
-Something like this happening in front of a patient. It happens to me all the time when I'm at home. I mis-place my keys and they're in an obvious place, I forget where I set my cup of coffee, etc. However, as this past Monday's TOSCE (Teaching Objective Structured Clinical Exam) taught me, once there's a patient in front of you, they're really trusting you not to mis-place any piece of information or to miss anything! All of a sudden the pressure is kind of on and I'm not really sure how ready I am for it.
Patients tend to think/trust (or maybe this is just my Mom) that healthcare professionals are mind-readers. "What do you mean I have to tell my Dr. that, don't they know?" HEEECK NO, THEY DON'T! Fortunately, educators in healthcare are well aware of this and teach us to ask questions... lots of questions, but pertinent, important, discriminating questions. However, when I tried to do this with my standardized patient, he informed me that "well, you're the pharmacist, shouldn't you know this already, what this drug is used for?" Yes, sir, I understand that you're taking your flipping simvastatin for hyperlipidemia... But I'd feel much better knowing that YOU know this and how it works so you understand why it's so important that you take it properly... *Cue headache* "Well, I feel like you're grilling me. Why do you care that my Doctor tells me this or not..." Ugggh. If only it were professional to face palm in front of patients...
I am mutually ecstatic and terrified that I only have <1.5 years of school left. I really don't want to make a mistake, but at the same time, I have to come to terms that I am human and I am far from perfect. Does anyone else ever have this sense of insecurity?
Okay, so your coming clean to your future patients, I'll come clean to my futrue bride :). I am God-awful terrified that I am just going to pick up my camera one day and just suck. The photos are going to be awful, I'm going to freeze up under the pressure of a dimly lit church, Uncle Bob standing in my way, my memory card will be full all at the same time and miss the first kiss and the bride and groom are going to crucify me on the front steps of the church.....
ReplyDeleteWill that ever happen? Probably not. WIll there be hiccups, you betcha. All we can do is just take a keep breath and stay the course. We're young, but passionate about our respected professions. Insecurities - doubts - anxiety - They all come with the territory. However, so does happiness, contentment, and knowing your making a difference. Cheers :)
Some of us not only have the sense of insecurity, but have already made the mistakes. I screwed up what should arguably be the easiest part of teaching (attendance and excused/unexcused absences), and have been dealing with/figuring out the consequences of that for the past week and a half. It isn't just you; we all worry that we'll somehow mess up our own job.
ReplyDeleteI however, have great faith in you as a pharmacist; though you have forgetful little moments, you're also diligent, and focused, and I have no doubts that even if something does slip your mind, you'll catch it when it counts. :-)